Sunday, November 4

Whatever.

I'm at the airport. Surrounded by hundreds of people. People are walking back and forth. I'm trying to walk amid the haste without getting affected by it, to avoid it. I'm trying to relax, but  simply can't take my eyes off of the people. I stare at them. They're all so different. There's a good looking man walking all alone through that huge place. Why didn't he take someone with him? Was it a business trip? Is he too busy to have a personal life? Whatever. Poor him, he'll have to spend his whole trip back home alone.
A woman is looking at him, but the way she looks at him is different. There's some kind of admiration in her look. She likes his appearance. You can see attraction in her eyes. She looks 40 and isn't wearing a ring. She looks tired, frustrated. She looks desperate. She stares at the man with lust. Does she need a man? She probably thinks love would cure her pain, her loneliness and exhaustion. Who said love would? What's so magical about love? Whatever.

I turn around to look at another man at the end of the hall. He's angry. He's yelling at someone on the phone in a language I don't understand. Is it his wife? His daughter? His girlfriend? His brother? His voice is getting louder. I bet he's talking to a woman. I can see frustration in his eyes. It's either his girlfriend or his fiancee. He's too young to be married. Did he expect her to call him right after he arrived and she didn't? Did she tell him she wouldn't wait for him at the airport? Falling in love isn't heavenly. He yells one more sentence then hangs up and walks away. Whatever.
A gay couple passes by. They look at me and smile then turn around to face each other. They're whispering. I wonder why they decided to be gay? One party is always playing a feminine role while the other one pretends to be manly so what's the difference? Why don't they feel attracted to women as well then? Were they badly hurt by women before? Is it something physical? They disappear, but the thoughts inside my head don't. I'm not against gay rights, it's everyone's right to be able to choose at least that. Yet I want to ask them about their arguments. I want to know why. I close my eyes for a second and try to empathize with them, but fail at it. Whatever. They're free to do whatever they want to do.
It strikes me; people are all so different. Why can't we be the same? No, that would be boring. Why then can't we accept our differences? Messed up world. Whatever.

I look at my own shoes. I wonder what people think when they look at me? A teenager sitting there with her brother at an airport. They're alone and seem lost and tired. Do they think our parents are divorced and we're visiting our father who's living abroad? It's hard to imagine what they're thinking. Maybe they think we're friends. No, it's obvious my brother's younger. I look at him to make sure he looks younger and for a second I doubt it. Does he? Whatever. No matter what they're thinking it's definitely not true. They'll never get it right. Does that mean I didn't get any of the above mentioned things right? Does that mean I misjudged them? Whatever.

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